Developer: Dark One! (Published by Shiravune)
Genre: Visual Novel
Store: Steam, GOG, Johren, Denpasoft, MangaGamer, Kagura Games’ Store, JAST USA
Reviewed version: Final
Censored: Yes (mosaics)
Patch Needed: Yes (only for the Steam version)
OS: Windows
Language: English, Japanese, Chinese
A few years ago, I watched a hentai called Sakusei Byoutou that immediately grabbed my attention because of its unique premise. However, it wasn't until the Hentai Live Expo in 2022 that I learned it was the adaptation of a kinetic visual novel with the same name, and that said adaptation was released in English as Nope Nope Nurses. I've been looking for the chance to play it and review it since then, and that moment is now.
It puts you in the shoes of Yamada, an average guy with a rare condition that gives him massive testicular pain if he doesn't cum every three hours. To make things worse, he fell off the stairs and broke both hands, so he's admitted to the hospital to get an *ahem* "adequate treatment" for his condition until he recovers from his injury. If you're thinking stuff like "God, I wish that were me" or similar, think again because the nurses that take care of his needs are the nastiest nurses you've ever seen. They are so bad you can't help but wonder if his sanity and his dick will be intact when he's released from the hospital.
What makes this visual novel so enjoyable are its unique premise, the nurses' personalities, and the dynamics between them and the protagonist. The story is split into four parts or weeks that focus on the nurse tasked with taking care of the protagonist. The first nurse is Tachibana, a woman who feels nothing but repugnance towards the protagonist and the way she has to treat him, but is so stubborn and professional that she does it anyway while barely managing to hide her disgust. She finds the protagonist so repulsive you could think she was part of the cast of "Iya na Kao Sarenagara Opantsu Misete Moraitai" with the way she looks at him.
Following her comes Kurokawa, a woman so twisted you wonder how the hell she's not locked in an asylum. She laughs like a maniac every time she talks and goes to great lengths to make anyone who slightly annoys or offends her pay, including blackmailing and manipulating people to make them do heinous things to them—and no, you can't fix her. What's worse, she throws anyone under the bus like the massive coward she is if she can save her ass.
She's a piece of shit through and through, but she's so unhinged that she's by far the most entertaining character in the cast. You can't help but be morbidly curious about what she's about to pull on whoever unsuspecting person she has on her mind.
The third one is Yamaguchi, a former delinquent who is rude, rough, impulsive, swears like a sailor and has anger issues. She also constantly tries to make the protagonist cum quickly by attaching a pocket pussy to different tools as if she were the second coming of McGyver and using them on him without giving a second thought about how dangerous they are. However, deep within, she's a softie with normal worries and interests and is pretty much one of the sanest nurses in the cast as long as you overlook her extremely short fuse.
Last but not least comes Hiramatsu, a borderline narcoleptic girl who is as motivated as a cashier who has been working at Walmart for a decade. She's so lazy doing anything is a massive drag, and she only cares about taking naps while on the clock and getting wasted on the occasional night shift. While she's an absolute disaster as a nurse and has no work ethic at all, she's a godsend for Yamada since all she does is lie on his bed and fool around with her phone or catch some z's while letting him do whatever he wants with her body to relieve his needs.
Yamada, the protagonist, isn't perfect either. He's prone to not listening to what others tell him, saying or doing the worst thing possible at the absolute worst moment, and screwing up any opportunity to improve his situation. He's so infuriating at times you have the urge to pause the game and yell at the screen, like when he had the chance to bond with one of the nurses and get on her good side, just for him to fuck it up spectacularly.
Visuals-wise, the game's art is a feast for the eyes thanks to its pretty character portraits and the detailed CG used in the sex scenes. However, Yamada's design is a bit inconsistent, sometimes looking like he's about the same age as the nurses, sometimes a bit younger, and so on. On the audio side of things, the soundtrack is also superb, featuring a beautiful melancholic piano song in the main title that you can't help but keep listening to on repeat and fitting tracks for the scenes in the game. As for the voice acting, the actresses did a top-notch job bringing the characters to life, especially Hikaru Isshiki and her stellar performance as Kurokawa.
Verdict: Great, but not for everyone
Nope Nope Nurses caters to a very specific niche and, as such, is not the kind of visual novel everyone would like. However, you'll enjoy it if you're a fan of femdom-focused VNs in which women treat guys like crap or the premise got your curiosity to the point you can't help but give it a shot because of its high production values.